It is ok

So until yesterday, I was highly unaware that there was a National Single Parents Day! I mean, August 12th is melon day so why not, right? Being a single parent is something that is very near and dear to my heart. Afterall, I am a single mother. What really struck me lately, is a group I belong to for single mothers. I see a lot of them feeling like there is no hope and like a failure. We all do! Unfortunately, it comes with the territory. Some of us are single by our own choice, while some did not make the choice, like myself. As adults, one of the biggest things we long for is a relationship. Many times, a perfect one. Honestly, I do not think that exists. Every good relationship has its ups and downs. That is how they succeed! For those who have been kicked to the curb and made to fend for themselves, like me, maybe it is better off.

This week has been especially difficult for me. I had just begun recovering from a four day migraine when my oldest said she was not feeling well. She stayed home sick Monday and Wednesday. Her sister has also developed a nasty cough. Needless to say, no sleep for me! I have, again, been single for almost a year now, and since he walked out on us, my girls will not sleep anywhere but my bed. Oh man! Getting slapped and kicked all night, not fun, let alone listening to them cough and sneeze all night! Am I ashamed of this?? Absolutely not. I find that they feel more comfortable. After all, they are only little once, right?

Another topic that hits home is the classic daddy not helping out. I get no child support, he only asks to see them when it is convenient for him, and he is with the girl he left me for, who he has decided, despite my wishes, to have her around my girls. Let me back track for a sec. My oldest is from another relationship, so this makes it that much harder. I knew he was with someone, and one day my girls came home from visiting him and my daughter says, “there was a girl there.” I was livid. Seeing red. My heart sank. I curled up in a ball and cried. I talked to him about it, but he had nothing to say! I later told him that he can see them just the three of them and his response is, ” Well she is going to be there and idk what to tell you. My personally life is none of your business.” Ummm, if it involves my kids, it is every bit of my business. Last week, he saw them and my oldest came home with a French braid in her hair! My heart sank.

I put my heart and sole into my children. I feed them, take them to school, bathe them, buy them necessities instead of myself, stay up late when they are sick, take them to the doctor, take them on trips. Everything. I was doing it all, but lost myself along the way.

I think we get too caught up and forget we are humans too. We have needs. So, last fall I decided to start back at school to study Interior Design. Sure its hard, but it fills in those gaps of watching tv or feeling useless. It is for the kids’ future, but also for me. About a month ago, I also decided to find something I am passionate about, when an opportunity fell in my lap. I was connected to the most amazing community of people and now have the ability to help others. For the longest time I was looking for a way to reach out and help others with anything I could. This was always a challenge for me because I just could not find that certain way to go about it, and now I have!

I guess with all that being said, the only thing you can do is keep going. Some days are going to suck, and some will be wonderful. Never ever forget that there are many others that feel the way you do. Being a single parent does not mean you have failed. You know why? Just look at your kids, and you have your answer. If they have a roof over there head, food in there belly and a smile on their face, you are a success! Just make sure you do something for yourself so you can be the best for them. My new community of support and hope reminds me every day that I am business alone, but I am never alone. Same goes to the single parents, you may be single, but you are not alone.

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